20 Questions for the Minister for Loneliness
“[T]he British government has appointed a minister of loneliness…” ~Times Literary Supplement, February 1, 2019
1. Is it to promote it or fight against it?
2. Under the auspices of the minister, is solitary confinement a punishment or a reward?
3. How do they measure loneliness?
4. How do they measure effectiveness?
5. What is the loneliness budget?
6. How does it shrink under austerity? Support for only one friend is provided?
7. What is the ministry’s motto? Loners of the world, unite? Isn’t that disenfranchisement?
8. Did the minister replace the minister of friendship?
9. Is there a minister of poverty?
10. Is there a minister of mid-life disillusionment?
11. What does the shadow minister of loneliness do? Expose him/herself?
12. What are the required qualifications and experience?
13. Does the number of Facebook friends count?
14. How did they avoid discriminating against introverts when they were filling the role?
15. Can the minister refuse a friend request?
16. Is the minister allowed to dream of a deserted island?
17. Is the minister allowed to admire The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter?
18. Are married people under the ministry’s protection?
19. Do incels fall under this ministry’s purview or are they under the ministry of misogyny?
20. Should the current minister step down to free the post for Teresa May, post-Brexit?
